A Break Through

Over the past few days I have been challenged in my prayer life....actually, it may have started with a comment someone mentioned a few weeks back about how crucial prayer is....how it should be SUBSTANTIAL in our lives.

So, I've been praying differently the past couple days.

As I was praying this morning....for Austin....for all the things to connect in his brain that should be connecting (thank you Dikola and Stormie) a story in 2 Chronicles 16 came to my mind and I was floored. I am floored.

It's the story of the king of Judah (Asa) finding out about the king of Israel (Baasha) coming up against him. Previously, God had delivered him from the attacks of large armies. This time it seems that as soon as he hears what King Baasha is doing he goes straight to the king of Syria for help. When it's all said and done a seer comes to him with a message from God:

"Were not the Ethiopinas and Lybyans a huge host with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet because you relied then on the Lord, He gave them into your hand. For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to shwo Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are blameless toward Him."

"blameless" according to Strong's: complete, safe, peaceful, perfect, whole, full, at peace

Referring to this verse in BECAUSE HE LOVES ME, Elyse M. Fitzpatrick says, "What is this 'blamelessness' that God loves to bless? Is it a perfect record of disciplined righteousness? No. It's simple reliance on him and a turning away from all other sources of support. It's believing that the righteousness God rquires has to be pursued by faith and not by our own efforts (Rom. 9:32)"

The first time I thought of blamelessness that way my heart was so encouraged and challenged. I know the Lord is doing a work in my heart and making me more mindful of when I am relying on self instead of trusting in His righteousness....but I feel like he's digging deeper and showing me that I have been just like King Asa....

With what feels like a huge host of chariots and horseman coming at me (that being the responsibility to teach Austin), I have made Dr.'s appointments, I have talked to friends, I have tried subscribing to a website that promises to improve your attention span and your IQ....and all the while God is saying to me: "Get in your closet and ask me to make the connections in Austin's brain. I CAN DO IT. I CAN. Trust me to give you the words to speak. Trust me to do a work in his heart."

I've been seeking the Lord as I've prepared to homeschool Austin, but when it came down to sitting with him day after day and feeling the weight of it all as I watched him struggle it became overwhelming. I wanted to run. I wanted out. I wanted to put him in the car and drive him BACK to school. When I knew I couldn't do that, I wanted medicine, I wanted a website....


And those things may be what God provides to make the connections in His brain, but right NOW He wants me to trust Him. He wants me to believe that HE can do that by Himself. I am excited to see what God does.